I have just returned from a fantastic weekend spent with my eldest son on a 2 Night Father-Son Adventure run by the team at Fathering Adventures. Fathering Adventures is the brainchild of Townsville father-of-four Darren Lewis who was this year awarded the Queensland Father of the Year 2011.
Being a father is more than genetics. A father is a man who loves, delights in, teaches, mentors, nurtures, trains, and affirms a younger person. His role is crucial in the younger person’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual development. He may be a biological father, a stepfather, an uncle, a grandfather, a mentor, a teacher, or a coach.
Research reveals that children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteems, exhibit empathy and pro-social behaviour, and avoid high-risk behaviours such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
Sadly, research also reveals that on average, a child spends only 8 minutes per day with his or her father.
Every child has one core question, though they may never voice it. This core question must be answered by BOTH his or her mother AND father. This universal question can be asked in a variety of ways… “Do you love me?” “Are you proud of me?” “Do you delight in me?”
A child spells LOVE, “T-I-M-E”, and 8 minutes per day, does not, and cannot answer this question in a healthy, life-giving way. The absence of Dad’s presence in the life of his child will leave the child with a deep unseen wound, that if left unhealed, will continue to shape and affect their life in a potentially destructive manner, for a lifetime. We at Fathering Adventures believe that prevention is better than cure.
I’ve never met a Dad who hasn’t wanted to be the best he can be. Many Dads just feel inadequate and ill-equipped in their capacity as fathers, courtesy of their relationship with their own Dad.
Some questions for Dads of sons…
Are you fathering intentionally? Do you father with the end in mind? What will your son leave home with? Has your son already left home? It’s never too late!
What would you have loved to experience with your Dad? What would you have wanted to receive from, or hear from him? Offer those things to your son now. Discuss this with others.
2 Night Father-Son Adventures
For boys aged between 7 and 13 years, and their Dad, or significant male other.
A significant, affordable opportunity to answer a boy’s core question… “Do you love me? Do you delight in me? Am I your beloved son? Am I the apple of your eye?”
Conducted in safe environments near Townsville in North Queensland or in SE Queensland, with a well-balanced combination of group activities, and intentional one-on-one time to better explore your relationship. Remember, a child spells LOVE “T-I-M-E”.
Throughout the weekend, Dads will also receive some basic coaching on what it means to be an “intentional” Dad. You will be armed with all of the tools you need to ensure your son knows that he is your “beloved son”.
Recently they have also started 2 Night Father-Daughter Adventures as well!
5 Night Father-Son Adventures
For boys, young men, and mature-age men aged between 13 and 70 years, and their Dad, or significant male other. These adventures are held in and around Tully, in tropical North Queensland.
There is a second core question that every boy is asking, and if answered negatively, or worse still, not answered at all, he will continue asking that same question throughout his entire lifetime… Do I have what it takes? Do I have the strength, the courage, the gifts, the talents, the abilities, to come through in a given situation? Whilst we highly commend mothers for their efforts toward their sons in the absence of Dad, this core question can only be answered effectively by the father, or significant male other. As the proverb says, “the glory of sons are their fathers.” Many men today are either attempting to prove that they do have what it takes, and becoming driven in their pursuits, however the majority of men today believe they don’t have what it takes, so they shrink away from those situations that threaten to expose that fear. They become passive men.
This experience provides a perfect forum for a Dad to usher his son into authentic manhood through a “rite-of-passage” or “vision quest” process of masculine initiation.
These 5 night adventures have attracted people from around Australia and internationally.
Roger’s comment:
Our weekend adventure was held at the Mapleton QCCC in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland. We were a part of a friendly group of 18 pairs of men and boys — fathers, step-fathers and committed male mentors of boys ranging in age from 7 to 13 years. People came from the Brisbane region, Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast and Western Darling Downs. It was great to meet Darren, the team from Mapleton QCCC, and men from all walks of life who had committed themselves to being better role models of masculinity to their young sons, step-sons and adopted sons.
Darren is a genuine, friendly and committed bloke who knows what he’s on about and has an obvious passion for “turning the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers.” There was a good mix of structured group activities as well as some free time for fathers and sons to hang out together, with a large choice of activities available to spend time together doing. The food was great (and plentiful) and conversation flowed easily.
The weekend was, at times, challenging for both the men and the boys, but the opportunity to test your own limits and frequently “doing it afraid” was very rewarding for both fathers and sons.
With new friends made and a reinvigorated desire to continue on my journey to be a better, more attuned — more intentional — father, I look forward to taking my other children on a similar weekend in the future. I also intend to graduate each child in the 5 day adventure held in Tully in the coming years!
Highly recommended for those in Australia and overseas!
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